Social Stories to Explain Manners

When I was at the recent Cygnet course, I learned about the "Theory of Mind", or idea that autistic people have difficulty understanding that other people have different feelings to them. My son has made some progress in this regard, as he previously believed that everyone had to think and feel the same as him, whereas now he does at least understand that others may have an opposing point of view.

However, yesterday he went to town with his nan and she was meeting a friend for coffee. The lady had bought my son a little present; a sticker book. My son didn't like the look of the book and told the lady that he didn't want it because it was rubbish.

When we talked about it later, he simply couldn't understand what he had done wrong, or why his reaction may have upset the other person.

In the end, I used some of his toys to enact a social story. I used two of his favourite characters; Sonic and Tails. I did a good version and a bad version of the story:

Bad Version:

Sonic: I am going to surprise Tails by giving him a nice present. He is going to be so excited. I've saved up lots of my money to buy it for him. Here he comes now. Hi Tails.

Tails: Hi Sonic.

Sonic: I've got a surprise for you. I saved up my money and bought you this present. It took me ages to find the right gift for you. I hope you love it.

Tails: UGH! What a horrible present! What a pile of rubbish! I don't want it. Yuk Yuk!

Sonic: (crying) that was really mean Tails, I bought it especially for you.

Good Version:

(Tails thinks to himself: I don't really like it, but I don't want to upset my friend.)

Tails: Thank you very much for the gift Sonic. It was really kind of you to think of me. You are my best friend.

Sonic: Thanks Tails. You are my best friend too.



My son immediately got the point and we also rehearsed what he should say if someone gives him a gift he doesn't like. With autism, you have to practice this sort of thing over and over again to get the point across. Never presume that an autistic child knows how to react appropriately in social situations, even if it seems like something that would be obvious to us.